A thought about EQ

A thought about EQ

Liam Vu
·Nov 24, 2022·

2 min read

EQ - Emotional intelligence indicator. At first, I was not aware of EQ, but when facing tough times and working with more colleagues, I started to learn and read books about it. Keeping your mind clean and calm is very important in any circumstance. In general, there are three stages in developing emotional intelligence: being aware of, knowing, and controlling emotions.

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We usually skip stages to control our emotions, but before controlling anything, we must know its existence first. Be aware of the emotions you feel: happy?, sad?, angry?, proud?, ... Remember when we use chat apps? Instead of tagging like, haha, huhu to the messages, tag them to your feeling.

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Knowing your emotions is the most important stage in developing emotional intelligence. We can ask ourselves: where and why it comes, how it ends. I often use "infinite why" technique - I ask myself "why" after I answer the previous why. For examples: I feel happy - why? - because I have a good grade - why? - because I learn every day - ... So, if I learn every day, I may have more happiness.

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There are a lot of techniques to control emotions. I name a few ones that I find most interesting:

  • Change your view: You feel frustrated without an umbrella when a heavy rain comes. But, if you are a farmer experiencing drought for months, the rain is a savior. There are no complete right or wrong things.
  • Stop ignoring your feeling: You have a car accident, you take care you physical wound, but you ingore you emotional wound. Does it make sense? We should care all kinds of wounds.
  • Say what you truly need: Instead of saying "I don't want to be sad," say "I want to be happy." When you say you don't want to, you tend to don't do anythings. But you said you want to, you will find a thing to do.
  • Deal with the past: The past is like the rearview mirror of your car. If you look at it all the time, you may hit dangerous things. But, if you look ahead and sometimes look at it, you will reach your destination.
  • and more ...
 
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